Wednesday, March 2, 2011

5 Years

Will and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on February 28th. (Exactly 2 weeks after Valentines day, it's our month of LURV!)Even typing that is weird because it seems like such a long time, although I guess in the perspective of a life time, it really isn't. Now you may think of this as an accomplishment, but I don't really see it that way. I see it as a sign of hope. We have had a lot of ups and downs already in our marriage, and if we can get through those, we can get through anything, cause at times it was pretty rough. This was a really special anniversary for us because we are mending our relationship after being separated for almost a year. I feel that now, our relationship is on it's way to being the best it's ever been and I am so excited for that. Also, even though we have had tough times, we have both learned from them and even grown up because of them. (We got married when we were both 20.) I still look forward to spending time with him every day, laughing, and teasing each other. I am still amazed at how much he cares about me and the things he does for me. He is an amazing man and I am lucky to call him mine.

Sorry for all the sappiness, I just can't help myself! I want to get into some things I have learned from being married for 5 years. Also, I think it will be interesting to look back on when I have been married for 10! Now, every relationship is different, so these things may or may not apply to you but I feel that real, honest advice is always useful... whether or not you follow it is a different story.

1) Be honest. I know what you're thinking, "uh, duh" but there are many ways you need to be honest in a relationship. First, and probably most important is being honest with yourself about what you want, don't want, and what you need. For me, it's sometimes hard to know what I want until I go through something and I'm like, "Ahh! I don't want this!" You then need to be honest to your partner about the things that are important to you. (Yeah, you may feel like you "need" a lot of things, but you need to prioritize and pick the ones you can't live without. This is how relationships help you grow and mature.) Lastly, you need to be honest honest, and by that I mean no lies. Any lies and the trust starts to dwindle and that's a huge problem in itself. (Lies about whether you bought a new pair of shoes or not may or may not apply...)

2) Take advice about your relationship with a grain of salt. I always feel it's good to get outside opinions, but realize it is just that: outside opinions. These people don't know exactly what your relationship is like, the dynamics, the history... only the two of you in the relationship do. When you spend 5 minutes ranting about some fight you were in with your partner, your friend/family member/stranger on the subway only hears YOUR SIDE of a minuscule moment in your relationship. Just be aware of that. Also, I'm not talking about the delusional abused woman syndrome, "but he is is a nice guy when he isn't punching me!" so please don't take it that way. That's part of #1, being honest with what's important to you.... being abused should probably be important to you....

3) Have fun! When a relationship is on the rocks, talking it over with your partner to solve the issue might be all you want to do. While it is important to make sure they know what the issue is, it's MORE important to remember why you are together in the first place. Go out and do something you both love. Go to an amusement park, a concert, go out on the town for the night. Go on a vacation! Staying up night after night having those "talks" is so draining. After you relax and have some fun and remember why you love your partner, it's so much easier to talk to them. You never have fun with your significant other? Well, chances are pretty good that you don't belong together. Even if your relationship is great, it's good to surprise each other once in a while so you don't get into a boring daily routine. You know what your partner likes, treat him/her to something special just to show you care!

While I could probably go on and on about other things I have learned, I think these might be the most important. I am definitely NOT saying I follow all these to the T and I am a perfect person in a perfect relationship! Noooo way! Like you, I am still learning everyday how to be a better person, and a better wife!

What do you think is one of the most important things in a long term relationship? Anything you would like to add or do you disagree with me completely? (Probably)




Anonymous said...

Omg you are a gorgeous girl , your husband is a very lucky men I'm sure he loves you Sooo much ,,,,,,, I love your blog is fantastic

Ann C said...

Where's the "like" button on this thing?