the wait is almost over

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Warning: the following may induce eye rolls or "oh brother" exclamations due to extreme cheesiness  You have been warned. 

I am so excited for the holidays! I've gotten all my Christmas shopping done, which is so unlike me. I usually leave a bunch of things till the last minute so not having that added stress has been nice! My family has a Christmas party every year and my grandparents are visiting from Florida so this is the first year they will be able to join us. We always have such a great time. I'm going to have a week off from work (WOO!) and I've been making plans to see friends during that time.

I never officially announced it here on my blog but William and I have gotten back together! Relationships are so complicated, aren't they? I'm sure from a blog readers perspective, since I don't always share intimate details, my relationship seems very flighty, but I can assure you it isn't. We have discussed our relationship in depth in regards to our decisions and I can honestly say I am SO happy right now (and I'm pretty sure he is too ;) )! I have mentioned some construction going on over here. Well, we are building a mother-in-law suite on the second floor of my mom's house and progress will be a bit slow, but things are going great. I am sure I will be sharing a bunch of before and afters with you all as well.

Sorry if this seems like bragging, but it's just really nice to actually be happy and have so much to look forward to! I hope you all are looking forward to the holidays and the New Year as much as me.

PS. In case the world ends tomorrow, you guys are awesome and thanks for reading. ;)

an update

a bouquet from a local farmers market

It's starting to feel like Fall here in New Jersey and it's my favorite time of year.

My birthday came and went in September and it wasn't as painful as last years. Probably because for a few weeks I mistakenly thought I had turned 27 but had just turned 26. So actually turning 27 wasn't bad at all.

Work is back to the usual school schedule which is nice. My friend Chris came to visit for a couple weeks and we had a lot of fun with trips to Times Square in NYC and the historical district in Philly.

I've been mulling over a pretty big life decision lately and it's scary. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just see where different paths take us? Although I guess that would take the fun out of life, it doesn't seem like much "fun" right now. I will fill you in when the time comes. :)

I'm planning a camping trip in the Catskills at the end of the week, so that's super exciting. I've never actually been full on camping before. Shameful, isn't it? Any tips for a newbie?

grown

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I remember it was a couple years ago and the season was changing from summer to fall and I noticed the leaves. Obviously leaves change colors, but I asked myself, "are they always this beautiful?" That year, I realized I just started noticing things more. Of course the leaves changing is always that beautiful, it was just that I never really fully appreciated them until then. 

It's funny when you can actually see the ways in which you change. From noticing things more, appreciating things more, to changing my styles and tastes and even how I act. Usually it's so gradual that it just sneaks up on you. Sometimes you will have little reminders of the past you, things you still have that you used to like. "Oh right, that used to be me."

Growing as a person is very important to me. Lately, I've grown tired of all the clutter around my tiny place and reminders of who I was is no longer who I am. 

I am ready to let go and move on. And while it's a bit bitter sweet, I'm actually excited about it. 

This week, as I have a few extra hours off, I am going to be working on getting things gathered to sell at a garage sale, donate, and just plain toss in the trash. My goal is to keep things simple and fill my life only with things I love. 

What are some ways you have realized you've changed? 

going on lately...

Prepare yourself for a whole lot of randomness...

I've talked about this band previously and I can't help but share more. Mr. Gnome, my favorite band right now (seriously, I'm kind of obsessed), just released a digital B side of two unreleased tracks from their last album. I'm kind of (definitely) in love with both songs. 

My phone right now is going crazy. It restarts after every other picture I take and the only app that is working is Instagram (no idea why). I'm getting my fancy new phone tomorrow, a Samsung Galaxy S3, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Also, my car situation might be changing soon. My sister wrecked her car (don't worry, she is fine) and we are trying to figure out how to get her another one because she needs to drive to school. What might end up happening is my mom, who has been planning on getting a new car, may give her current one to me, and then I would give my Camry to my sister. 

Is it weird I'm sad about that? I've had my car for almost 8 years. I guess I have a sentimental attachment to her...err.. I mean it. My mom's car is nice and all, but it's pretty much a grandma car. The only reason I accepted her offer was because I am trying to be practical and her car has about half the miles as the Camry. Since I drive quite a bit for my job, that's pretty important. 

Work is work. My boss got a bit angry at me the other day and I was really confused as to why. Working for a family is difficult. I'm not saying my job is hard, because it's not, but it's hard not to take things personally and the whole "I'm in your house and raising your kids" thing is a difficult line to walk. 

This summer I'm trying to be a bit productive. Spending time with family and friends, working on this here blog, writing, and even giving myself some "me" time. Since I love movies and playing video games, sometimes I get sucked into doing a whole lot of nothing. I've just got to limit them and enjoy the rest of life, amirite?

I've also been asked a few times recently about William. I know I don't share as much as other people but this blog gives me that platform, no? So here's what's up... Nothing really. We are still separated and we are still friends. It may seem weird that I see him as often as once a week but  it works for us. We aren't close to many other people and we still enjoy each others company so we like to hang out together. No biggie. He will always be very important to me. As for legally, we are remaining married for the sake of his court stuff because it's a lot less complicated that way. (When I bring up his court situation, I know I am being vague. Hopefully when it's all over I will share exactly what has been going on.) 

Remember I mentioned I was a bridesmaid in one of my best friends wedding? Well check out these gorgeous pictures!

You can't see me here, I'm 2 bridesmaids over. Also, those poofs, we made those, so yeah... we're awesome

I've known these two since high school and not only watching them get married but getting to be a part of it was so incredible! Love 'em! Also, how beautiful is Amanda and aren't these pictures perfect?!

Kaylah always has the best nail polish so I attempted something like this. Of course I'm not as great as she is but I think it looks cool. 

Thanks for sticking through this rambling.

I hope you all have a lovely start to your week. 

stepping out of my comfort zone

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I'm definitely a home body. So much so, my mom used to call me a recluse back in my high school days when I would rather stay at home on my computer than go out to the mall with my friends. 

Sometimes it's hard for me to even make the decision to go out rather than stay home, where I am comfortable, where no one will judge me, where I can do what I want. However, since going through this break up and huge shift in my life, I've tried to make more of an effort to go out and try to have fun. I even went out on St. Patrick's Day. It was pretty much my most avoided holiday but when a friend invited me to go out (after an amazing dinner with my family), to a college bar none the less, I decided to buck up and make the most of it. And guess what? I had fun.

Even though some things are outside of my comfort zone, I want to make the effort to at least try them. Sure, I may not enjoy it, but at least I can say I tried it and learned something more about myself in the process. Maybe I can even work up the guts to throw my first dinner party for my amazing friends. Fingers crossed!

Do you ever try to do things outside of your comfort zone for your own good? How does it go?

a laurel wreath

I got my first tattoo a couple weeks ago. I haven't shared it because I was waiting for it to heal. As you can see, it's a laurel wreath on my right arm. It does have a meaning behind it, it's to serve as a reminder for me to live for myself and not for others, which was an extremely hard thing for me to learn. I picked the laurel wreath to represent this for a couple reasons. I love classic symbolism, it's a very clean and simple design, and the wreath itself stands for triumph and knowledge.

I have known I've wanted this tattoo for more than a year, it just took me some guts to go make the appointment with the girl whose portfolio I had been stalking online. I got the tattoo done by Anna at Revolver Tattoos in New Brunswick, New Jersey. She was very sweet and accommodating. The tattooing itself only took about 45 minutes and yes, it hurt. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and it was the peeling/itchiness while healing that actually bothered me more.

Before I got my tattoo I had done a ton of research. I researched not only my artist and where I was going to get it done, but also the experiences other girls who have tattoos. Danielle's Tattoo Tuesday feature really helped me understand how many different effects having a tattoo can have on someone. It was also thanks to all my research that I was able to handle some "off" comments I have already received about my tattoo. I knew to expect them because most of the girls have given advice to expect it.

My tattooing experience went really well and there have been times when I have forgotten it was there already. For those of you who are tattooed, this may seem trivial; it is pretty small after all. For those who aren't, it may seem like a big deal. For me, it's perfect. I already feel like it's been there forever.

What do you think about tattoos? Do you have any, or would you ever get one?