going on lately...

Prepare yourself for a whole lot of randomness...

I've talked about this band previously and I can't help but share more. Mr. Gnome, my favorite band right now (seriously, I'm kind of obsessed), just released a digital B side of two unreleased tracks from their last album. I'm kind of (definitely) in love with both songs. 

My phone right now is going crazy. It restarts after every other picture I take and the only app that is working is Instagram (no idea why). I'm getting my fancy new phone tomorrow, a Samsung Galaxy S3, so I'm pretty excited about that.

Also, my car situation might be changing soon. My sister wrecked her car (don't worry, she is fine) and we are trying to figure out how to get her another one because she needs to drive to school. What might end up happening is my mom, who has been planning on getting a new car, may give her current one to me, and then I would give my Camry to my sister. 

Is it weird I'm sad about that? I've had my car for almost 8 years. I guess I have a sentimental attachment to her...err.. I mean it. My mom's car is nice and all, but it's pretty much a grandma car. The only reason I accepted her offer was because I am trying to be practical and her car has about half the miles as the Camry. Since I drive quite a bit for my job, that's pretty important. 

Work is work. My boss got a bit angry at me the other day and I was really confused as to why. Working for a family is difficult. I'm not saying my job is hard, because it's not, but it's hard not to take things personally and the whole "I'm in your house and raising your kids" thing is a difficult line to walk. 

This summer I'm trying to be a bit productive. Spending time with family and friends, working on this here blog, writing, and even giving myself some "me" time. Since I love movies and playing video games, sometimes I get sucked into doing a whole lot of nothing. I've just got to limit them and enjoy the rest of life, amirite?

I've also been asked a few times recently about William. I know I don't share as much as other people but this blog gives me that platform, no? So here's what's up... Nothing really. We are still separated and we are still friends. It may seem weird that I see him as often as once a week but  it works for us. We aren't close to many other people and we still enjoy each others company so we like to hang out together. No biggie. He will always be very important to me. As for legally, we are remaining married for the sake of his court stuff because it's a lot less complicated that way. (When I bring up his court situation, I know I am being vague. Hopefully when it's all over I will share exactly what has been going on.) 

Remember I mentioned I was a bridesmaid in one of my best friends wedding? Well check out these gorgeous pictures!

You can't see me here, I'm 2 bridesmaids over. Also, those poofs, we made those, so yeah... we're awesome

I've known these two since high school and not only watching them get married but getting to be a part of it was so incredible! Love 'em! Also, how beautiful is Amanda and aren't these pictures perfect?!

Kaylah always has the best nail polish so I attempted something like this. Of course I'm not as great as she is but I think it looks cool. 

Thanks for sticking through this rambling.

I hope you all have a lovely start to your week. 

a laurel wreath

I got my first tattoo a couple weeks ago. I haven't shared it because I was waiting for it to heal. As you can see, it's a laurel wreath on my right arm. It does have a meaning behind it, it's to serve as a reminder for me to live for myself and not for others, which was an extremely hard thing for me to learn. I picked the laurel wreath to represent this for a couple reasons. I love classic symbolism, it's a very clean and simple design, and the wreath itself stands for triumph and knowledge.

I have known I've wanted this tattoo for more than a year, it just took me some guts to go make the appointment with the girl whose portfolio I had been stalking online. I got the tattoo done by Anna at Revolver Tattoos in New Brunswick, New Jersey. She was very sweet and accommodating. The tattooing itself only took about 45 minutes and yes, it hurt. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and it was the peeling/itchiness while healing that actually bothered me more.

Before I got my tattoo I had done a ton of research. I researched not only my artist and where I was going to get it done, but also the experiences other girls who have tattoos. Danielle's Tattoo Tuesday feature really helped me understand how many different effects having a tattoo can have on someone. It was also thanks to all my research that I was able to handle some "off" comments I have already received about my tattoo. I knew to expect them because most of the girls have given advice to expect it.

My tattooing experience went really well and there have been times when I have forgotten it was there already. For those of you who are tattooed, this may seem trivial; it is pretty small after all. For those who aren't, it may seem like a big deal. For me, it's perfect. I already feel like it's been there forever.

What do you think about tattoos? Do you have any, or would you ever get one?

August Break : making a fool of myself

I just wrote a paragraph describing my blog for a feature over on Kelly Ann's blog. I don't know when it's going up but I felt pretty silly doing it. I took these pictures to go along with the description. This is just one of 4 awesome masks I got on etsy. They hang above my make up table. You know, to serve as a metaphor and remind me of the mask I am putting on. Just kidding, I'm not that deep.

and here we are

The last couple days have been full of ups and downs. Friday I spent the night cooking for Saturday, when I had a bunch of friends over at the camp. Things were going well and everyone was having fun until too many drinks were had. Feelings were hurt and I am unsure about how to move forward. I feel like this has been happening to me so much that I am now changing. I am not the same person I used to be. I don't know if that's good or bad, really. To top it all off, on Monday I got food poisoning. It was awful and I won't go into details but I was really sick. Tuesday, I was still recovering, and today I am about 80% well. Sorry if the mood on my blog has been depressing as of late. Hopefully things look up.

August Break : in the car

At lot of my days are spent in the car. I think I live in a very pretty area and I don't mind driving. I just hate bad drivers. Also, don't worry about that last one, I was parked.

I used rollip.com to edit these pictures. I lost a lot of the quality (I took these with a dslr) but I like the colors and I suck at editing pictures. Do you think it's worth it?

Growing up alone

I have an older brother, a younger sister, a mom, and a dad. I grew up with all of them, but I have always felt alone. As soon as problems arose, my brother left and never turned back. I was put on a side burner while my sister, who was spiraling out of control, became the main focus of our family. That was 10 years ago and it is still true today. My mom had, and still has, her own issues. My dad has a new family.

I just recently put a stop to me being the go-between for my parents.

I just recently put a stop to a completely destructive relationship with my sister.

I am now standing up for myself, as only I can and as only I will.

Project Grown Up: bitch is the new black.

It's really hard to blog about personal things because I don't want to cross the line of what's appropriate to talk about and what's not. The following might seem a little vague, but it's important to me that I express it.

I've recently had an issue come up with one of my jobs and it put in me in an awkward position. Now, that position wouldn't have been so awkward if I was perfectly content asking for things I deserve, but I do. Part of this Project Grown Up has been for me to not only take care of things I need to, but also for me to start to change my mindset when I need to deal with issues like this.

After getting a phone call hearing how things were going to change for the next 3 weeks at work, I froze. I was given no previous notice, and this issue would effect me both time-wise and monetarily. This wasn't right. I am not someone who feels privileged to have things a certain way, don't get me wrong, but after working for the same people for 5 years, you would think they could have the decency to think about how this would effect me.

I hung up and I thought. Was I overreacting? No. Should they have given me some kind of warning over a major change like this? Yes. Do I deserve to get treated fairly? Of course!

Why then was it so difficult for me to call them back, and tell them how this was effecting me, and offer a new, more "fair" alternative to what they told me would happen? The truth is, I am a wimp. In other ways, I am strong, but in demanding things I deserve, I am inexperienced. This is going to change. I did actually make that phone call and they gave me what I asked for, but not without giving me grief about it. Everyone is out for themselves in this world, and if I'm not, then I'm going to get stepped on. I stood up for myself but this is only the beginning. I am done with taking rude remarks from people and thinking, "they don't really know how mean they are being, they are just like that." I am going to stop them and tell them exactly what they just did. I am going to get what I want out of this life because it is my own. No one else will do it for me, and yeah, it might be tough to get used to, but I will get used to it. As Tina Fey so eloquently put it, "Bitch is the new black."

if I told you I shaved my head, would you believe me?

Cause I did.

the uge

In the midst of making plans for my Project Grown Up, I went through a family crisis. If I DID have regular readers, this is where I would apologize for the lack of posts, but since I do not, I will instead cry softly to myself.

Kidding (kind of). So things were put on hold to deal. Now, I would get into the details, since this is my personal blog and all, but since most of my crazy drama has to do with other people, I am not sure how I feel about putting all of that out there for the world to see, for their sake. For now, I will just leave it at: stuff happened, I dealt with it and will continue to do so. Isn't this vagueness annoying? I thought so.

So I have begun my planning! Doing this research has been kind of fun, honestly. Good thing I love to read and learn about stuff. I hope you guys will enjoy my upcoming posts on the matter as well. So, I was in my room taking some "before" shots of my make up table and dresser which I will die of embarrassment from later when I post them... and I was just messing around with my camera, pretending I can take pictures. Let's over analyze them, shall we?

the fingers are not in focus, what does that MEAN? also, nice arm hair

don't wipe your screen, that layer of dust is on my mirror. i feel it adds a bit of mystery... don't you think?

i totally cleared away other stuff for this "pretty shot". ps, I found that hair band. is that gross?

the strap of the camera in the bottom right really adds to the point of view.....

Question: does anyone know why blogger always rotates my vertical pictures and is there a way to fix it? I upload my photos to photobucket but it still does it.

Project Grown Up Intro

Recently, I have read a book called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. This book has completely inspired me. Gretchen took a year of her life and filled it with resolutions and goals so she could be happier. As she put it, "the days are long, but the years are short" so she wanted to start living happy!

While reading her book, which I highly recommend, I learned more about myself. You start thinking about the things you do to be happy and whether or not they truly do make you happy. I have a problem with getting "addicted" to things. I start spending all my time with certain people, causing us to get annoyed with each other. I find a video game I love and play it everyday until it becomes something I hate. I eat my favorite food everyday until I don't enjoy it anymore! While they may have started out making me happy, my behavior to the things I enjoyed were making me unhappy. Does anyone else do this?

While reading Gretchen's book, for which she also has a blog for here, I was instantly inspired to start my own happiness project but while I was thinking of the resolutions I wanted to keep, I realized they all shared a theme: being a grown up! This may sound pretty funny, but let me explain...

A lot of things make me happy. I am one of those people that, even though I am driving to work at 6 in the morning, I can appreciate the sunrise and the nice weather. Even if it's raining, I think, "Great! Everything will be so green!" Now, I'm not saying I'm the most happy-go-lucky girl in the world. I'm definitely not. So instead of thinking what makes me happy, it was much easier for me to think of things that make me unhappy, and how I can fix them!

Being a perpetual procrastinator, the things that were making me the most unhappy and giving me the most stress were things any reasonable adult would have taken care of. I would let things pile up into these unapproachable disasters that I felt I couldn't deal with or I would put things off, all the while thinking about them and having the worry eat at my well-being.

This is where my resolutions come in.

These resolutions are basically my areas of focus in this project. These are the things in which I want to improve in order to make my life more simple and less stressful.

I am constantly worried about money. Dealing with some stuff I have been putting off will definitely help out my stress levels! I have been needing to make a budget for a while now. This is the perfect opportunity. I am also going to look into selling things I no longer need or want and making a couple extra bucks. I will also be researching ways of buying smarter, something I never really spend much time looking into but I know I would get so excited if I was able to save money on something I needed. (yeah, I'm dorky like that.)

I often use the excuse of being too busy or too tired to cook so we often end up eating out. We do it so often, I get bored of the food we eat and I start craving yummy, home cooked meals. I look forward to cooking more often, not just for me, but also for William. I will be scouring the internet for quick and easy dinner recipes and smart snack ideas, all the while focusing choosing more healthy options. It would be nice to have fruits and veggies lying around to snack on so I foresee a lot of grocery shopping in my future!

I have so much clutter and disarray in my apartment, it drives me crazy! They say a cluttered house means a cluttered mind and I am sure there is some truth to that. Along with trying to sell the stuff I no longer need or want as I said before, I am looking into completely organizing my closet, craft table, make-up table, desk and even my computer! You would be so ashamed if you see how I organize my pictures (there really is no organization what so ever).

The people in my life who are most important to me effect my own happiness so much! If they are moody, so am I. This is where I am going to focus on strengthening my relationships with William, my family, my friends, and with my co-workers/bosses. I also hope to branch out and try to meet new people and make new friends.

This is similar to my organization resolution. I would like to really deep clean things I have been putting off like my cars, both of them, the sofa covers, the carpets, pretty much anything I may overlook on a regular basis. I also want to work on keeping things generally tidy and forming new habits (like not throwing clothes on the floor or on top of my dresser...)

I spend a lot of time on my phone, in front of the computer, or playing video games, so this resolution is a reminder to enjoy living healthy. I am looking forward to finding new activities to do outside, walking Chloe more, and exercising. I've realized there are some days where I barely walk at all! It's pitiful really. I am also going to do research on the best sunscreens and other healthy things I can do to to add to my life.

Probably the most boring resolution, but a necessary one for a procrastinator like me; this is for me to focus on basic maintenance such as taking Chloe to the vet, renewing my drivers license, going to the dermatologist to get my moles checked out, and getting some things around my apartment fixed. It's oh-so-boring but oh-so-necessary.

I get really stressed when people start asking about my plans. Why? Because I have no idea what they are! I am going to start focusing on my future and the things I would like to accomplish within the next few years. Also, within the immediate future, I need to figure out how my summer schedule is going to be changing with both of my jobs and how to work things out between them. Looking at big picture stuff like health insurance and planning for a family are also within this resolution.

As you can see, my resolutions are all part of being a normal, functioning adult, there in-lies the name Project Grown Up. While some of the things I will be focusing on are dull, some are things I know will really take some weight off my shoulders once I accomplish them. I will be posting about different projects regarding my resolutions.

If you would like to join me, be my guest! I would love to hear how you guys are learning to grow and be more responsible. Otherwise, what are some things you could work on to make you a happier person? I'd love to know. Also, if you have any blog posts touching upon any of these subjects, whether it be simple dinner recipes, planning a budget, or organizing a make-up table, I would love to see them and maybe link over to your blog in upcoming posts. If you don't have a blog but would love to give me some helpful hints, email me at thesetlist@gmail.com.

I'm not sure how long this will last but I'm hoping at least 3 months. Instead of the summer of George, it's gunna be the summer of me growing up! (and it's about time!)

5 Years

Will and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary on February 28th. (Exactly 2 weeks after Valentines day, it's our month of LURV!)Even typing that is weird because it seems like such a long time, although I guess in the perspective of a life time, it really isn't. Now you may think of this as an accomplishment, but I don't really see it that way. I see it as a sign of hope. We have had a lot of ups and downs already in our marriage, and if we can get through those, we can get through anything, cause at times it was pretty rough. This was a really special anniversary for us because we are mending our relationship after being separated for almost a year. I feel that now, our relationship is on it's way to being the best it's ever been and I am so excited for that. Also, even though we have had tough times, we have both learned from them and even grown up because of them. (We got married when we were both 20.) I still look forward to spending time with him every day, laughing, and teasing each other. I am still amazed at how much he cares about me and the things he does for me. He is an amazing man and I am lucky to call him mine.

Sorry for all the sappiness, I just can't help myself! I want to get into some things I have learned from being married for 5 years. Also, I think it will be interesting to look back on when I have been married for 10! Now, every relationship is different, so these things may or may not apply to you but I feel that real, honest advice is always useful... whether or not you follow it is a different story.

1) Be honest. I know what you're thinking, "uh, duh" but there are many ways you need to be honest in a relationship. First, and probably most important is being honest with yourself about what you want, don't want, and what you need. For me, it's sometimes hard to know what I want until I go through something and I'm like, "Ahh! I don't want this!" You then need to be honest to your partner about the things that are important to you. (Yeah, you may feel like you "need" a lot of things, but you need to prioritize and pick the ones you can't live without. This is how relationships help you grow and mature.) Lastly, you need to be honest honest, and by that I mean no lies. Any lies and the trust starts to dwindle and that's a huge problem in itself. (Lies about whether you bought a new pair of shoes or not may or may not apply...)

2) Take advice about your relationship with a grain of salt. I always feel it's good to get outside opinions, but realize it is just that: outside opinions. These people don't know exactly what your relationship is like, the dynamics, the history... only the two of you in the relationship do. When you spend 5 minutes ranting about some fight you were in with your partner, your friend/family member/stranger on the subway only hears YOUR SIDE of a minuscule moment in your relationship. Just be aware of that. Also, I'm not talking about the delusional abused woman syndrome, "but he is is a nice guy when he isn't punching me!" so please don't take it that way. That's part of #1, being honest with what's important to you.... being abused should probably be important to you....

3) Have fun! When a relationship is on the rocks, talking it over with your partner to solve the issue might be all you want to do. While it is important to make sure they know what the issue is, it's MORE important to remember why you are together in the first place. Go out and do something you both love. Go to an amusement park, a concert, go out on the town for the night. Go on a vacation! Staying up night after night having those "talks" is so draining. After you relax and have some fun and remember why you love your partner, it's so much easier to talk to them. You never have fun with your significant other? Well, chances are pretty good that you don't belong together. Even if your relationship is great, it's good to surprise each other once in a while so you don't get into a boring daily routine. You know what your partner likes, treat him/her to something special just to show you care!

While I could probably go on and on about other things I have learned, I think these might be the most important. I am definitely NOT saying I follow all these to the T and I am a perfect person in a perfect relationship! Noooo way! Like you, I am still learning everyday how to be a better person, and a better wife!

What do you think is one of the most important things in a long term relationship? Anything you would like to add or do you disagree with me completely? (Probably)

Aww SO CUTE!

LOVE YOU WILLY-BEAN!

These fun fact posts have been popping up in the blogger world and I really enjoy reading them. Since reviewing my stats and the people who stumble upon my blog, I've realized the majority of the people who come here are people I don't know personally... which is kinda funny if you think about it cause hardly anyone comes here. Anyways, here are 7 things you might not know about me.

1. I lived in Germany for 3 years. This was when I was a kid, and no, I don't speak German besides a few words. We lived on Army bases so it was kind of like an American town in the middle of Germany. It's pretty cool that I got to take weekend trips through the French countryside and walk my dog in the Black Forest. I even used to have a piece of the Berlin wall, but of course I lost it. Oh well.

2. I constantly have dreams about going to a new school and getting lost. Usually I can't find my schedule and I have no idea where to go so I just wander around the halls. It probably has to do with me moving around a lot when I was younger and just being nervous about starting new things in general.

3. You know how some people are scared of spiders, or snakes, or dogs. Well, I'm not scared of anything that might actually be considered scary; I'm scared of people in costumes with over-sized heads. You know, like Mickey Mouse in Disney World? Like that. I don't think they look scary, it's just when they come near me, I get freaked out. The last time I went to Disney World I was waiting in line at a buffet with what had to be at least 50 people and as soon as the characters come out, who does Goofy SNEAK UP BEHIND TO HUG? Me, of course.

4. I really like video games. Now you might know that already, but maybe not HOW much I like them. We all played Nintendo and Sega and I can go on and on about those games, but it goes further than that. When I was around 11 or 12, I used to play my Dads computer games. Doom, Duke Nukem, Civilization, Age of Empires. I loved them. When I moved up to New Jersey, I spent everyday at my cousins' house playing Nintendo 64, mostly 007. I then got into The Sims on computer, PS2... and then Xbox 360. The game I have probably spent the most time playing would be Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I really like playing as a team with real people even though whenever I talk on the mic everyone assumes I am a 10 year old boy. I know a ridiculous amount about guns now, which is weird for me to even think about... but I really do think playing is good for you. I even read a study that it makes you a better multitasker, gives you better hand eye coordination, and you react quicker to things than nongamers do. So, play video games!

5. I used to be a super picky eater when I was younger and even though I do have my "favorites" that I like to eat, I like to try new things too. I HATED Mexican food and refused to eat it and now it's one of my faves! The only food I have never really liked is Indian but I still try it every now and then to make sure.

6. I don't think I can own enough shoes or purses. I am thinking of doing a Spring Cleaning and selling a bunch of them and it's really stressing me out!

7. If I never wanted to have kids and if I could start school over again, I would want to be in the world of Advertising. Designing ads would be so fun!

It's been a crazy month

This month has had it's up's and down's, mostly down's, but that's okay. I've been sick for 5 days now with bronchitis but today I actually feel the antibiotics are working! We've had some crazy snow storms, the last of which gave us 2 feet of very wet snow and broke tons of branches everywhere. My apartment complex really sucks at plowing, which really pisses me off because I always see the complex maintenance truck at the office and not plowing! BUT in good news, I have lost 14 lbs. Yay! I wasn't expecting to lose any weight this week because I have been so lethargic and sleeping 24/7 but I lost 2 lbs. It was a bronchitis miracle! I can't wait to start working out again and get my heart pumping. I hope to do as well, if not better next month with my weight loss. Here are some things that have helped me get by in this insane month of January.


Black tea in my new very heart-y mug.

Snuggling up on the couch in the quilt my Aunt Ann made me and watching Hulu. (with Chloe of course)

And, although this may seem counter intuitive, these fudgsicles are AMAZING, like a frozen milkshake. Buy them, even if you don't care about calories.

what's in my bag

I love seeing what other girls keep in their bags, so I thought I would share what's in mine. And yes, it is VERY heavy, especially because I also keep my DSLR camera in there too...

1. I usually always have a magazine/book in my purse. Will got me this one on his last grocery store run. Oh, he knows me so well.
2. My journal/idea book. Contains tons of to-do lists.
3. My blog idea book. There are a LOT of notes in here from Elsie's e-course Blog Lovin'.
4. My weekly agenda. I love the cover.
5. Ear buds for listening to Pandora on my phone while in public.
6. This envelope contains bags of black tea and packets of Splenda... yeah, I'm an addict.
7. My phone, the HTC Droid Incredible, a very fitting name I do believe.
8. My most recent nail polish purchase from Target. I LOVE it! Definitely buying Sonia Kashuk again.
9. My wallet. I love how big it is and the houndstooth pattern.
10. A bag where I keep pens, pencils, markers.
11. As you can see, not all of them make it back in there and usually end up floating around on the bottom of my bag.
12. A pair of cheap aviators I have had since forever.
13. Some hand sanitizer I got for Christmas. I probably don't use it as often as I should.
14. My make up bag. It pretty much has all my make up in it... because... I usually put my make up on while I am in my car. Parked though of course. (I am hoping to change this habit with the new make-up nook Will just made me!)
15. Some warm mittens.
16. Face moisturizer, cause you can never have enough right? Wear that SPF peoples!

a weekend in review

This weekend was such a nice, relaxing weekend after the long week back to the regular grind. On Saturday, William and I headed over to my Mom's house for some karaoke and Chinese food. It was fun seeing everyone sing, especially my cousin Manuel. Too bad no one brought out the Disney songs though because I know he can belt those out. Today I worked on getting some old clothes ready to be posted on eBay, watched The Kids Are All Right (I thought it was a really fantastic, relatable drama about all different types of relationships and how we can so easily fuck up the ones that mean the most to us), and caught up on playing some Xbox. I haven't played in such a long time since I have been so busy but it was real fun to pick up the controller again. I'm off to go do some dishes and get ready for the week. I hope you had a great weekend too!

This is NOT a resolution

When I was in the first grade, my elementary school had these "school spirit" weeks where everyday you had to do something assigned to show your school spirit, like... wear a hat. The first task of the first day was to wear your clothes inside out. Boy, was I excited! I picked out the outfit I was going to wear a few nights before. I thought this specific shirt would be perfect for the day because of the weird design the front had. It was seriously cool. I remember that morning, walking out to the bus stop, which was right across the street from my house, excited to show off my carefully coordinated inside out outfit. Stephanie, who was my best friend at the time, appeared to not be wearing her clothes inside out. I approached cautiously... Was this school spirit thing dumb? Is no one else participating? Am I going to be the only one who made this serious fashion faux pas?

"Hey Stephanie... why aren't you wearing your clothes inside out?"

She noticed my outfit. "Umm... what?" she asks, obviously confused.

"For school spirit week..."

"Oh. That's next week."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm pretty sure my eyes looked like they were going to pop out of my head, but I totally tried to play cool.

"Oh... right. Umm.... so....." I crossed my arms and looked down at my shoes, under which were inside out socks.

The bus FINALLY arrived and I quickly took a seat and slid my back so far down the brown pleather, I was practically laying down. Stephanie seemed to take no notice of my discomfort since she sat right down next to me and ratted on about how her Grandmother found a bees nest the night before.

What am I going to do? My clothes are inside out! I am such a weirdo. People are going to think I think it's normal to wear my clothes inside out. OR that maybe I don't know my clothes are inside out! I can't change here on the bus! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

The rest of the memory is kind of a blur but I do remember going into my classroom and changing in the bathroom. (I guess 1st graders need a bathroom in the class?) I can clearly remember how incredibly anxious and uncomfortable and self conscious I was. Even though far more embarrassing things have happened to me, this one really freaked me out. I can still relate to my 5 year old self because I still get that self conscious.

When I was around 8, I started to get chunky. Throughout middle school and high school and after, I kept on packing on the pounds. You would think that since I have been big for so long, I would get used to it, but I'm not. I hate it. Sometimes I look at a picture of myself and I can't believe how big I have let myself get. It became a regular thing to hear from relatives, "What are you going to to about your weight?... You should get blood work done... Here is a diet book I thought you could use." I know my family cares about me and is concerned for my health but I don't think they realize how much my size effects me. I don't blame them for not knowing though. I never, ever talk about it. They may have taken that as a sign that I am not aware of my weight or that I even care about it. Believe me, it effects every single aspect of my life.

BUT

This isn't a woe-is-me post. The reason I am sharing this is because I am ready to deal with it. I had a high school psychology teacher who once said, "If you really want to do something, you just do it." So no more, "that would be cool if I could fit into that awesome dress" or "why can't I just be regular sized". The only thing that has ever been holding me back was myself. If I really wanted to lose the weight, I could...

And I will.

I am making this a public mission for a couple of reasons. One, so I will be held accountable. You don't want to know how many times I have started a diet only to slip up and give up the next day. That isn't going to happen this time. I might slip up, but I am not going to stop trying. Another reason for writing about this is because there is value to the struggles we go through and this is my blog, so this is me.

Not all my posts from here on out will be about eating healthy and working out, but some will. I want to share things I have had challenges with or learned along the way and I would love feedback, even if I only have 2 people who read this, that's okay!

I hope this didn't come across as some whiny post that makes you feel that I want you to feel sorry for me because that isn't the case at all. Also, I DO have a plan. (that's what makes this NOT a resolution!) I have started Weight Watchers. Even though I was able to lose weight in the past using Atkins, that is just not a diet I can keep up. I feel I made a great choice picking Weight Watchers because it teaches you to really be conscious of the food you eat and you can treat yourself every once in a while, which is a diet I can keep for a long long time, because I know this will take time, but it's all about the journey, right?

Thanks for reading. And... if you think about it... wearing your clothes inside out is pretty cool if I say so myself. Too bad I didn't think that then.

about me

Hey! I'm Marisa (pronounced mah-ree-sah) and A Parallel of Latitude is my personal blog. I'm a 20-something living in New Jersey with my crazy-but-cute dog Chloe. This blog is about living the nerd life, having fun with crafty DIYs, and learning to dress up.

I like a lot of things, some of which include: reading, video games, movies, TV, fashion, crafting, laughing, the internet, shoes, home decor, avocados, Diet Dr. Pepper, and pretty things.

There are a lot of things I don't like too, including but not limited to: nail polish that chips immediately, getting a rock in my shoe, and forgetting what something is called.

You can email me at thesetlist@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading!